I can see
The Moon; the one I cannot touch
Hangs above me,
As a reminder
Of who I want to be,
And who I am today.
musings & scribbles
When you smile, the world stops to witness your happiness. Always smile, so the world is always stopped for you.
“I once was dumb, and find myself flashing back every so often,” says anyone not realistic about their limitations.
Honesty is helpful to one’s self, but honesty through eloquence is helpful to everyone.
Happiness is a rudder, of which we know little its mechanisms and much its foils.
The worst feeling is knowing I’ve changed someone’s outlook on life or me, without meaning to. I detest being thought of, let alone negatively.
Given the flower or the seed, always remember: one is dying, while the other has yet a chance to live.
Remember your constraints; they are not meant solely to keep you, but to carry you as well.
Memory is a muscle, and sleep is protein.
Being still is a means of control; remember, when you feel as though everything is out of control, you can always control yourself. Often, after gaining control of yourself, others fall in line accordingly.
Be great at everything you take time to do. Never settle for being okay; being okay is leaving knowledge on the table, and handing the check to someone else when you have more than enough of an ability to foot the bill.
Be great. Just try it for a while, and you won’t want to be anything else.
I will fight so long as there is a clear goal; otherwise, I would be flailing, which is far too close to another type of -ailing to know a difference.
I’m glad autocorrected, “words,” are not recorded, or you would no doubt think less of me.
I despise misspelling a single word, and will take time from writing to discern the correct spelling. Yes, this sucks for stream of consciousness, but I avoid Worry, a much stronger force than Theme or Subject or Passion to me. Labelled OCD, it’s really a pursuit of perfection, for whatever that’s worth or however subjective its realities. Being honest with myself, Passion for perfection is the same as Passion for writing, and so long as Passion is used, no other purpose matters.
If I could describe [Candi &] my sleeping habits using only a comparison to another species, I would point toward Dryococelus australis’.
Acceptance grants the acceptor unlimited insight into existence. However strong one’s beliefs or ideals, acceptance can broaden that strength by merely stretching to encompass more. Acceptance is assimilation of all observances and thoughts into one’s life. If even to dispel another’s views, accepting acknowledges those views and allows the acceptor to objectively move on from them. Fighting what exists, even if only in another’s thoughts, is fighting fantasy. Acceptance is not accepting existence, but is accepting there are other views of existence; even if another’s lens needs cleaning, acceptance allows us to be tolerant, and tolerance allows for clarity of thought, the most highest achievement of humanity.
In Greece, she would be as a goddess; here, she is a cunt.
It seems marriage is the only thing, once broken, which is no longer appreciated for its prior state.
It’s better to be far behind than fed up. – Mike Goodman says this sucks as a quote.
My goal in life is to ruffle as few feathers as possible, because all they do is dirty the water. [ruffle is not the same as pull, so this doesn’t really work]
Life is a series of choices to interact, or not.
Drinking is a form of relaxation, like dying is a form of sleeping.
Living in the present is not the same as forgetting the past.
Antagonists are as important as the protagonists, just as space is as important as the stars.
Leaving is never as hard as apologizing for having done so.
“Lonely,” is not the right word; “solitary,” is.
I try hard to be as silent as possible; I write instead. This has caused my verbal communication skills to diminish (as though I ever had them). Self-degradation is my defense mechanism, and I often depend on it to make others feel better about having hurt me, even professionally. Never be who you want to be; be who you need to be to be who you want to be. “To be,” or not, but know you are always being [something].
Listen to be heard.
Breaking is an excuse to fix.
Listening is the sincerest form of respect; it is a direct reflection of the time one puts into another.
Memory is the bottle of creativity.
Love from our feline friends gives happiness with a side of humility.
Look to always be better; you know, so you can become Prime ‘n’ shit.
Going and going, the mover never knows to stop.
“Always ask yourself, ‘what’s the worst that could happen?,'” was my Mom’s way of breaking my anxiety, so I could fix it with logical discernment.
I write as a form of expression. All expression is invaluable, as is all interpretation.
Dying is having known inhaling and exhaling, and being unable to do either.
Anger defines us. I would rather be without definition, though such shapes rarely keep it together. Can I say, then, that anger both gives us definition and destroys us, eventually, if we attempt to remain undefined?
I am more critical of my mistakes than thankful for my successes. Does this make me ungrateful of my gifts, or wanting of more? No. I am critical so I can strengthen my gifts, and pass them on to our children.
Lineage is the path one’s successes should take, with failures as signs along the way.
Failure is life’s way of showing you how much success should be desired.
Relativity is scaled.
I regret my previous lack of effort.
… like caribou in Malibu,
And I’m a big game hunter
With a finger on the trigger
And 4 more on the butt
“He’d be twice as smart if he talked half as much.” – My Dad
Lose to know what winning feels like? Sure, I’ll die to live now, too.
We can adapt to [any situation], but decide to make excuses for any situation. We call this, “being human,” but I call this, “bothering to be bad.”
Love is everyday. Portraying a bond as unattainable, except through a miracle, belies the work and patience put into love. Love is like the river and the stones: worn into one another, they are just as beautiful together as when they first met.
Jealousy is an afflicting notion that something will happen which leaves one at a disadvantage to another.
I miss losing my balance and floating into a crash; this is not a call for help, but a way to remember what was and is no more.
We foolish billions.
While light-boned feather-heads fly,
We crawl, silently, leveling to rebuild
What was beyond our reach– still.
A mark of a fool is claiming to be first after observing only their self; a mark of the intelligent is to wonder what is next.
Continuing a thought by building upon it can be both required and abandoned, often at the same time.
Sorrow, from despair, is borrowed, to be returned tomorrow.
Sorrow borrowed is sorrow lost; sorrow kept is sorrow wept.
They who fault someone for their minor mistakes may, themselves, be faulted for missing their attainment.
The echo of blades spinning lands in his ear.
“God dammit! Again? We had given them reason to stop–”
“We’ll give them another reason,” interjected the man to his side.
“Don’t be hasty, George.”
“Then why are we here, Tom? To camp?”
“Asshat.”
“Whatever, man. Are we going to let the others know, or let them keep cutting?”
Walking into camp, the others knew what was going to be said by the way Tom was shaking his head and the way George’s happiness was barely being held back.
George handles confrontation the way a shark handles water; it’s his territory, and everyone else is trespassing until he kicks them out.
Tom, though, knew as much of confrontation as a panda knows how to hunt in a desert; he’ll stand his ground, then wander a bit, and eventually faint from dehydration or fear.
The others bent forward and lifted themselves up from the log.
“I heard saws,” Tom said, nearly not wanting to say so.
“Any scary things left from last time?,” asked George.
“No…,” said the third from the left.
“Shit. How are we going to scare them this time?” Tom didn’t like confrontation, but one-sided scare tactics allowed the group to get what they wanted without risking anything.
“I can…,” George trailed off.
“Do it, and we’ll kick you out,” the second from the right said, straight-faced and with an obvious disdain for George’s thought processes. Depending on others is tantamount to one’s having failed.
George’s eyes hid behind their olds for a second, then widened as though being electrocuted. He was furious, though knew he couldn’t say anything; the incident a few years ago embarrassed him enough, and he didn’t need another.
“Fuck it. We’ve been here and doing this for 7 years. If they don’t know yet that we’re not to be messed with, then it’s their damn fault if they get hurt.” Tom’s panda spirit animal awakened, sounding more like a grizzly.
“Wow, Tom, so will you be going up to them this time?” asked the first from the left.
“No, I’m a lookout. I, …” Tom responded, not even wanting to finish what his responsibilities are. He always knew he was more important than they thought, but only when they needed him did they say so.
“We know, Tom. Everyone has their role,” said the tenth, a grey-haired woman who knew Tom from before all this, and knew what his potential was. She pitied Tom; not because he was a failure, but because he didn’t know his own potential, so never could have lived up to it.
“Let’s try to reason with them, then. They know why we’re in the way, and we know why they don’t care. The last outcome either of us can stomach is to have the other’s wants done in full,” the sixth from the log stated, with a hint of a plea.
“Alright, alright. I’ll go back,” responded George.
As Tom turned to see George leave, he focused on tomorrow. He would spend it with his families, home and work, going after a day he could smile about later. He couldn’t wait for this weekend, “responsibility to the world,” shit to end; he’d rather be responsible every day, and not try to be someone for a few days who acted as though they had anyone else but his own best interests at heart. Hell, he did this for time with the boss, George, not to save anything; shit, other than his family and friends, what did he really want to save?
Walking in the warming Sun,
Having left the keyboard and
Cubicles, those open-air asylums,
For a bit; have my Transitions
Lenses, and feet on tracks to
Keep moving while my head spins.
Perfect view of a duck in rest,
Bill in breast and I’m jealous;
I keep trekking, hoping these
Steps taken before yield to me
Their nuances of life given to
Plain sight’s camouflaged peers.
And I miss so much,
Leaning into screen
Versus peering around.
We foolish billions.
While light-boned feather-heads fly,
We crawl, silently, leveling to rebuild
What was beyond our reach– still.
Grab those words
From the air–
Those words you
Know are there,
Though know not
How to take.
Just write– as
You breathe, just
Write.
I once wrote because
I had thoughts to jot;
Now, I write to leave
What needs be said.
When I was young,
I fell into the Current;
Flailing, throwing arms
As a young chimp does.
When I grew aware,
I saved thought for Now;
Living, losing sight
As a side-blind equine.
When I grew to stand,
I gave cause to Walk;
Restless, full-trotting
As a year-old lab in [a ]field.
When I stayed still,
I gained Root;
Knowing who I was and
Who I am,
As does any being
When tasked with
Continuing on.
He loosened his neck.
He did this whenever he would otherwise be relaxed.
“My remindance of life,” he would say, if ever he were asked– not yet, no, but if so.
His hands, having completed their task, left his neck for his horse’s.
He gave himself more time to ponder if anyone would ask, and began placing the odds on his Mother, if she were to see him again. He realized her odds were not realistic and revised them.
Many on the path he took had not seen their mothers again, he thought; he is now another numbered soul, lasting so long as someone else wonders who had been on this path.
Being from his town, he gave no more thought to loneliness, and remembered how far he yet had to travel.
Farther down the path, or up and down if taking into account the gully his horse just trod through, he sought a sign he was headed where he should be.
He loosened his neck.
Soft crackles emanated from beneath his hands.
Satisfied, he continued looking forward, forging through a landscape he would, if not focused, have grown to appreciate.
He wondered, if he were to be hanged, if his neck would snap quicker or give him time to reminisce longer. He had heard of the flashbacks, but only from those who had not died.
Odd, he thought, how others can know such occurrences without having had them. Then, he could know a fish breathes underwater without doing so himself. He liked his comparison, and tilted forward in his saddle a bit.
Again, he wondered if he would be able to remember all he could. He started to visualize his youngest self, though could not discern memory from story.
He loosened his neck.
Seeing as he had not done enough to be hanged, he found comfort in the length of life yet lived, and let his memories fade into his background.
He loosened his neck.
Stiff, he thought. It may be that he should stop.
He leaned back in his saddle, the man who had all he owned with him, and looked around. [letting focus fade into his background]
One important role of growing older is looking upon those who have yet to, the little ones, and giving generic insights to life. The generalities should give both an omen and a lesson, while leaving no room for labels or assumptions.
Who are we if we cannot be so in public as in private?
Regarding dreams: When we are awoken to realities outside our own creativity, we are allowed to live a little and, graciously, fall back to dreaming when tired of doing so.
The gift of amnesia is not caring what’s new and old, only what sounds right.
This is A conversation, so B out.
The only room in their house not dusty is the kitchen.
Repetition breeds confidence in the ability to perform. Performing is just that: a performance. No one should be judged by one alone.
Enthusiasm is a contagion and a repellant; be mindful of both, but know there is more. There is always more; from the jealous, the downtrodden, the irked, be mindful so you may be a compromise of your own compassion, but only outwardly. Never let another remove or reduce your own, inner enthusiasm.
Life is more than you, but relies entirely on your perceptions of what else is out there. [12/3/12p]
We are fragile, yes? But, so strong. [12/3/12p]
Eyes are not just a window; eyes are a mirror. Maybe that’s when you know love: when the eyes of your lover mirror you. Not to be confused with an emptiness you wish to be filled. [12/3/12p]
Or, cake. [12/3/12p]
Color adds so much to any experience. I remember more the shades than the words. Or, is that a sign of a bad memory? [12/3/12p]
If hashtags could be used in all forms of writing, would they just be annoying footnotes? [12/3/12p]
Adding timestamps for relevancy’s sake. [12/3/12p]
My stomach sounds like an assortment of angry mammals discussing politics around a water cooler. [12/3/12p]
(Movie) idea: Couple, about to have first child, asked by doctor who they want child to imitate. Confused, couple ask why, to which doctor responds that all babies are imitations of previous people. Unaware, couple start questioning who they imitate, with parents sworn to never tell. End with parents choosing child to imitate themselves. Skip ahead to child going through same scenario with spouse. [12/3/12p]
Get tools in the hands of artists and let them play. A partial beauty of artistry is witnessing the creation of what we otherwise would not see. Some label this, “unique,” but I unequivocally dub this, “weird,” with a smile. [12/6/12n]
Emotion is fine; response should always be measured before being applied. [12/13/12p]
The darker a night, the more anonymous our actions feel. Disconnection is as much a driver as passion, though having much less a concern with the outcome. [12/13/12p]
A great person once spoke, and is not that enough to believe another will as well? [12/13/12p]
Reviewing how you handle trite phrases spotlights your conditioned responses to stimuli and, in time, brings about creativity as would seeing a forest of trees, when walking, and believing one could walk further only by clearing a path. What I’m trying to say is we depend so much on our exposures to others’ interpretations, and that is not a terrible dependence to have if we decide to maneuver within and around those interpretations, rather than, as we inevitably do, pretending they existed only for someone else to express. [12/13/12p]
Time and perception. Time and perception. If we were to question one, we would have so much more of the other. [12/13/12p] – do not be bitter or spiteful or become what others believe you are; also, relativity is beautiful in nature’s clockwork chaos. So much happens between recognition and reaction, but scale is in the way of our understanding. Sad, really. [12/13/12p]
Easier to be fresh than refreshing, but only one never becomes, “old.” [12/15/12p]
Trying is being who you are told will accomplish what is wanted. Doing is putting your head down and accomplishing each step which takes you further; doing is laying out the deck and going card by card to find whichever ones give you the best hand to win. [12/21/12p]
People do not, “like,” him; they merely appreciate his better moments. [12/22/12p]
The more you say it, the better you’ll be at saying it. [12/24/12p] – to Candi, as she tells me a situation again and worries about repeating herself
When one person is the center of attention, everyone else has their backs exposed. [12/24/12p]
Love is knowing someone else knows without having to know. [12/27/12p]
I’m the type to be prepared for anything, but never asked to go along. And, I’m okay with that, so long as I can pass on that knowledge of preparedness to our offspring, whom I will invite everywhere. [12/27/12p]
When the bad is your only way of seeing the good, doing worse is both a signal for help and a white flag. [1/6/13p]
When the house looks abandoned rather than lived in, have you really moved, or are you moving? [1/6/13p]
We choose to forget what ails; deciding, without much use of logic, to be blissfully worried, rather than knowledgeable through diagnosis. [1/17/13p]
Sometimes, fear is nothing more than regret over being unprepared. [1/17/13p]
Family know you as you were, much more than you can recall yourself. This is not just a warning, they are a way to obtain yourself. [1/17/13p]
Being ready for a major life choice is something best done with more than one set of ears and eyes. [1/17/13p]
Forging and forgetting both begin the same way. [1/17/13p]
Using your mind only for fleeting, trifling knowledge is akin to using stemware for juice; yes, you can, but no, you shouldn’t if you expect to be taken seriously. Though, we are all a little silly when being serious is not necessary. [1/17/13p]
Bridging the gap between nescience and expertise are time and tools. [1/25/13p]
Fear is as much a lack of as it is an understanding. [1/26/13p]
Fragility must be maintained to keep from breaking through. [1/28/13p]
Losing what was gained is as terrifying as gaining what was lost; this is especially true of the physical. [1/28/13p]
Exposure to another’s thoughts on you are more damaging or encouraging than most formed in your own head. Be motivated and not contemplative. [1/28/13p]
Two (of many) ingredients for humanity: Loyalty and longing. Just so happens both are prevalent in many other species. [2/1/13p]
He’s the type the beach overcasts and swells for. [2/1/13p]
A plan of attack should often begin with the battlefield. -> An enemy’s weakness can sometimes be seen in the battlefield itself. -> One’s own abilities are nothing if an enemy’s are not understood. -> To scribe a battle without knowing the theatre is to sing a song without knowing the melody. -> Limitations abound; often, we benefit from knowing more of our own than our foe’s. -> Ending an engagement is as difficult as beginning. Never enter without accounting for the exits. -> Be spiritual, but know your humanity. -> Feelings are as weather: predictable to a point, but wholly unreliable depending on the locale. -> Giving and generosity are related, but not synonyms. Taking and selfishness are related, but not synonyms. Understanding the premise helps cast us, but we direct our own actions. -> Be the one who dictates the steps, and you will always be ahead. -> Letting go is not giving, and giving in is not taking; both are an advantage if your intentions are known. -> Secrecy is not the same as being accustomed to surprising. ->. Clandestine operations give knowledge to one side and take knowledge from the other, but these roles are not set by plans alone. -> Being beneficial brings brightness to tomorrow today. -> Alliteration is both annoying and catchy, perhaps because the obvious is illegitimate. [2/17/13p]
Sometimes, the world hopes we are (wo)men, but knows we are but children with larger fists. [2/17/13p]
Even words, now, are ruled by fists and not voice. [2/17/13p]
Let that be a lesson to you, Sleep! I am but half tired and half drunk with what to say next. [2/17/13p]
We are but mules who know not our origins, and care not why we carry so much with no where to go. [2/17/13p]
To have all humans aboard a ship, each with roles set by location (both born and travelled to) and not thoroughly tested skills, may more result in crashes than in reached destinations. Civilization is funny that way. [2/17/13p]
Selection is right all times, except when resulting in those not believing in its existence. #NotTrue [2/17/13p]
The elixir of shared knowledge is such to make a grown being never sleep, but when run dry and dusted over with cliches. [2/17/13p]
Being from where I’m from, I cherish looking beyond our planet as the only means to know the beauty of life is not captured solely in nature, knowledge, and interactions. [2/17/13p]
Nature, knowledge, and interactions: the three blessings we narrowly try to silo, while some try desperately to realize their symbiosis. [2/17/13p]
The future is forever ago and forever ahead. Ain’t that grand? [2/17/13p]
Knowing you will pass and how you wish to be remembered is a strength I wish for everyone. [2/24/13p]
Screw the daily follies, proclaim uniqueness. [2/24/13p]
We act as we do out of a deep need to be conditioned, and a strong desire to be as everyone expects. [2/25/13p]
We choose to be who we are, whether bottled, poured, or as stream. We are all fluid. We must know we are who choose our shape. We choose. [2/25/13p]
Damage done by a bad additude often is overlooked until it’s too late. -> Being a dick doesn’t always mean you’re fucked right away; sometimes, you’re bent over well after, as soon as you’re snipped a bit. [2/28/13p]
[3/30/13p] Look behind only to see where you’ve left to go, and who you should thank for getting there.
We never seem as wasteful as when observed during our routines. [4/3/13p]
[4/15/13p] When your employment depends on one person, you’ve need fear more than Death. (Re: Jay Leno)
[4/16/13p] Laugh through misfortune. Work hard, strive to release yourself from the captivity of misfortune, but laugh often and with reason. How you succeed during failures is indicative of how you refuse to fail during successes.
[4/17/13a] Life tip (repost): Unclogging a drain can be as easy as plunging with the bottom of a cup. This method has the added benefit of not causing skin & eye irritation, as do bleach/sodium concentrates.
[4/17/13p] No reason exists to not change and adapt. Be willing to change, though, and not just wanting of change. The best change is subtle until the original seems farcical in comparison. Be radical only when the outcome harms no one and helps everyone, even those who wish to harm.
Normal is brilliant. Do we appreciate all we’ve done to be normal? I never want to be one who loses the trials for the triumph. The triumph is only so with knowledge of the fore. [5/9/2013p]
Often,
When you’ve taken time to look,
Nature will dance for you
And only you,
As would a child,
Or a parent,
When you’ve taken time to look.