a faded slab of spongerock
floats, loosely between
the blackdrop of stars,
traced with edge of earth’s
slightly arching shadow
Posts published in “Poems”
but in my mind, less my words, i know– i feel the world is strangling me to actions i’ve known, too long, as replacements for you, my prize, my unwinnable prize.
ah.
how..
light the heart,
broken,
breaking,
shattered
while pumping..
how..
soft the chest,
pounded-pounding–
slipped further down to
pit, ‘trapped, lined with
spike, twist, disemboweling sticks, stuck carefully
so as to prop rather than
let fall, slip,
fumble in the turf,
but
i do anyway
and however much i know
of these, yours, feelings
i left upon a doorstep, left
burning but not stomped
out just yet, let them ash–
and however much i know
of these, i cannot say
with certainty you will
one day, upon a time,
long for me as i long
for you– i know you
never will, yet how
beautiful the flame
upon your step,
brilliant blue, as
blue as bent sky
shrunk to see
in palm–
thinned to fragile tip,
rays of sun, anchored,
stretched to spread
weight of air to rise, to
spike in chance of
‘scape– breaking
yet what use is a light
in day’s time, keep
such things for
need at night.
And there sits he, the
one with hand over and
we all know why
should i throw some dirt
upon this, my puppy-
brown coat, perhaps
draw you in to see i
need your help here,
i need someone to
hold on to when i
slip into those drag-
downs, tallied up to
push me down when
i try, i rise, i fall again
but i’ll push harder now
maybe i’ll become a
man, a responsibility’s–
will you let me know
or should i guess at
some other ocassion,
not when these hands
keep lifting me from
free-falling, you raise me
to float, to peak, to
drift, caught in you
in spin in thought of
you, a line i drew
to never cross, as
we’re not meant to..
real
poison’d, lobed,
faught to say it, but you know i’d never be able to love you as you need be,
love.
well, see, i
knew a posibility
existed previously to
give me a chance at you, i
just never
knew a posibility
existed that you
would reciprocate a want of
that chance
that feeling when the tips o’ your nerves wiggle ‘neath the skin
been drowning myself in sad songs and all i can think of is doggypaddling in circles until the storm lets up
i could recite a million different lines to tell you how i feel, but you already know which words are mine, so what’s the use of rambling on when you know what’s behind thoughts given rhyme
the only difference between insanity and brilliance is the world’s understandings of what is said and what is known
my voice would have you trembling/remembering what you were after before you knew what to go for
my eyes will break you down and make you want me to build you back
a different way
i’ll be able to in another lifetime
but now i’ll never have the chance