We foolish billions.
While light-boned feather-heads fly,
We crawl, silently, leveling to rebuild
What was beyond our reach– still.
Month: August 2013
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We foolish billions.
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Writer’s Block
Grab those words
From the air–
Those words you
Know are there,
Though know not
How to take.Just write– as
You breathe, just
Write.I once wrote because
I had thoughts to jot;
Now, I write to leave
What needs be said.When I was young,
I fell into the Current;
Flailing, throwing arms
As a young chimp does.
When I grew aware,
I saved thought for Now;
Living, losing sight
As a side-blind equine.
When I grew to stand,
I gave cause to Walk;
Restless, full-trotting
As a year-old lab in [a ]field.
When I stayed still,
I gained Root;
Knowing who I was and
Who I am,
As does any being
When tasked with
Continuing on.
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He loosened his neck.
He loosened his neck.
He did this whenever he would otherwise be relaxed.
“My remindance of life,” he would say, if ever he were asked– not yet, no, but if so.
His hands, having completed their task, left his neck for his horse’s.
He gave himself more time to ponder if anyone would ask, and began placing the odds on his Mother, if she were to see him again. He realized her odds were not realistic and revised them.
Many on the path he took had not seen their mothers again, he thought; he is now another numbered soul, lasting so long as someone else wonders who had been on this path.
Being from his town, he gave no more thought to loneliness, and remembered how far he yet had to travel.
Farther down the path, or up and down if taking into account the gully his horse just trod through, he sought a sign he was headed where he should be.
He loosened his neck.
Soft crackles emanated from beneath his hands.
Satisfied, he continued looking forward, forging through a landscape he would, if not focused, have grown to appreciate.
He wondered, if he were to be hanged, if his neck would snap quicker or give him time to reminisce longer. He had heard of the flashbacks, but only from those who had not died.
Odd, he thought, how others can know such occurrences without having had them. Then, he could know a fish breathes underwater without doing so himself. He liked his comparison, and tilted forward in his saddle a bit.
Again, he wondered if he would be able to remember all he could. He started to visualize his youngest self, though could not discern memory from story.
He loosened his neck.
Seeing as he had not done enough to be hanged, he found comfort in the length of life yet lived, and let his memories fade into his background.
He loosened his neck.
Stiff, he thought. It may be that he should stop.
He leaned back in his saddle, the man who had all he owned with him, and looked around. [letting focus fade into his background]
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Quotes Deux
One important role of growing older is looking upon those who have yet to, the little ones, and giving generic insights to life. The generalities should give both an omen and a lesson, while leaving no room for labels or assumptions.
Who are we if we cannot be so in public as in private?
Regarding dreams: When we are awoken to realities outside our own creativity, we are allowed to live a little and, graciously, fall back to dreaming when tired of doing so.
The gift of amnesia is not caring what’s new and old, only what sounds right.
This is A conversation, so B out.
The only room in their house not dusty is the kitchen.
Repetition breeds confidence in the ability to perform. Performing is just that: a performance. No one should be judged by one alone.
Enthusiasm is a contagion and a repellant; be mindful of both, but know there is more. There is always more; from the jealous, the downtrodden, the irked, be mindful so you may be a compromise of your own compassion, but only outwardly. Never let another remove or reduce your own, inner enthusiasm.
Life is more than you, but relies entirely on your perceptions of what else is out there. [12/3/12p]
We are fragile, yes? But, so strong. [12/3/12p]
Eyes are not just a window; eyes are a mirror. Maybe that’s when you know love: when the eyes of your lover mirror you. Not to be confused with an emptiness you wish to be filled. [12/3/12p]
Or, cake. [12/3/12p]
Color adds so much to any experience. I remember more the shades than the words. Or, is that a sign of a bad memory? [12/3/12p]
If hashtags could be used in all forms of writing, would they just be annoying footnotes? [12/3/12p]
Adding timestamps for relevancy’s sake. [12/3/12p]
My stomach sounds like an assortment of angry mammals discussing politics around a water cooler. [12/3/12p]
(Movie) idea: Couple, about to have first child, asked by doctor who they want child to imitate. Confused, couple ask why, to which doctor responds that all babies are imitations of previous people. Unaware, couple start questioning who they imitate, with parents sworn to never tell. End with parents choosing child to imitate themselves. Skip ahead to child going through same scenario with spouse. [12/3/12p]
Get tools in the hands of artists and let them play. A partial beauty of artistry is witnessing the creation of what we otherwise would not see. Some label this, “unique,” but I unequivocally dub this, “weird,” with a smile. [12/6/12n]
Emotion is fine; response should always be measured before being applied. [12/13/12p]
The darker a night, the more anonymous our actions feel. Disconnection is as much a driver as passion, though having much less a concern with the outcome. [12/13/12p]
A great person once spoke, and is not that enough to believe another will as well? [12/13/12p]
Reviewing how you handle trite phrases spotlights your conditioned responses to stimuli and, in time, brings about creativity as would seeing a forest of trees, when walking, and believing one could walk further only by clearing a path. What I’m trying to say is we depend so much on our exposures to others’ interpretations, and that is not a terrible dependence to have if we decide to maneuver within and around those interpretations, rather than, as we inevitably do, pretending they existed only for someone else to express. [12/13/12p]
Time and perception. Time and perception. If we were to question one, we would have so much more of the other. [12/13/12p] – do not be bitter or spiteful or become what others believe you are; also, relativity is beautiful in nature’s clockwork chaos. So much happens between recognition and reaction, but scale is in the way of our understanding. Sad, really. [12/13/12p]
Easier to be fresh than refreshing, but only one never becomes, “old.” [12/15/12p]
Trying is being who you are told will accomplish what is wanted. Doing is putting your head down and accomplishing each step which takes you further; doing is laying out the deck and going card by card to find whichever ones give you the best hand to win. [12/21/12p]
People do not, “like,” him; they merely appreciate his better moments. [12/22/12p]
The more you say it, the better you’ll be at saying it. [12/24/12p] – to Candi, as she tells me a situation again and worries about repeating herself
When one person is the center of attention, everyone else has their backs exposed. [12/24/12p]
Love is knowing someone else knows without having to know. [12/27/12p]
I’m the type to be prepared for anything, but never asked to go along. And, I’m okay with that, so long as I can pass on that knowledge of preparedness to our offspring, whom I will invite everywhere. [12/27/12p]
When the bad is your only way of seeing the good, doing worse is both a signal for help and a white flag. [1/6/13p]
When the house looks abandoned rather than lived in, have you really moved, or are you moving? [1/6/13p]
We choose to forget what ails; deciding, without much use of logic, to be blissfully worried, rather than knowledgeable through diagnosis. [1/17/13p]
Sometimes, fear is nothing more than regret over being unprepared. [1/17/13p]
Family know you as you were, much more than you can recall yourself. This is not just a warning, they are a way to obtain yourself. [1/17/13p]
Being ready for a major life choice is something best done with more than one set of ears and eyes. [1/17/13p]
Forging and forgetting both begin the same way. [1/17/13p]
Using your mind only for fleeting, trifling knowledge is akin to using stemware for juice; yes, you can, but no, you shouldn’t if you expect to be taken seriously. Though, we are all a little silly when being serious is not necessary. [1/17/13p]
Bridging the gap between nescience and expertise are time and tools. [1/25/13p]
Fear is as much a lack of as it is an understanding. [1/26/13p]
Fragility must be maintained to keep from breaking through. [1/28/13p]
Losing what was gained is as terrifying as gaining what was lost; this is especially true of the physical. [1/28/13p]
Exposure to another’s thoughts on you are more damaging or encouraging than most formed in your own head. Be motivated and not contemplative. [1/28/13p]
Two (of many) ingredients for humanity: Loyalty and longing. Just so happens both are prevalent in many other species. [2/1/13p]
He’s the type the beach overcasts and swells for. [2/1/13p]
A plan of attack should often begin with the battlefield. -> An enemy’s weakness can sometimes be seen in the battlefield itself. -> One’s own abilities are nothing if an enemy’s are not understood. -> To scribe a battle without knowing the theatre is to sing a song without knowing the melody. -> Limitations abound; often, we benefit from knowing more of our own than our foe’s. -> Ending an engagement is as difficult as beginning. Never enter without accounting for the exits. -> Be spiritual, but know your humanity. -> Feelings are as weather: predictable to a point, but wholly unreliable depending on the locale. -> Giving and generosity are related, but not synonyms. Taking and selfishness are related, but not synonyms. Understanding the premise helps cast us, but we direct our own actions. -> Be the one who dictates the steps, and you will always be ahead. -> Letting go is not giving, and giving in is not taking; both are an advantage if your intentions are known. -> Secrecy is not the same as being accustomed to surprising. ->. Clandestine operations give knowledge to one side and take knowledge from the other, but these roles are not set by plans alone. -> Being beneficial brings brightness to tomorrow today. -> Alliteration is both annoying and catchy, perhaps because the obvious is illegitimate. [2/17/13p]
Sometimes, the world hopes we are (wo)men, but knows we are but children with larger fists. [2/17/13p]
Even words, now, are ruled by fists and not voice. [2/17/13p]
Let that be a lesson to you, Sleep! I am but half tired and half drunk with what to say next. [2/17/13p]
We are but mules who know not our origins, and care not why we carry so much with no where to go. [2/17/13p]
To have all humans aboard a ship, each with roles set by location (both born and travelled to) and not thoroughly tested skills, may more result in crashes than in reached destinations. Civilization is funny that way. [2/17/13p]
Selection is right all times, except when resulting in those not believing in its existence. #NotTrue [2/17/13p]
The elixir of shared knowledge is such to make a grown being never sleep, but when run dry and dusted over with cliches. [2/17/13p]
Being from where I’m from, I cherish looking beyond our planet as the only means to know the beauty of life is not captured solely in nature, knowledge, and interactions. [2/17/13p]
Nature, knowledge, and interactions: the three blessings we narrowly try to silo, while some try desperately to realize their symbiosis. [2/17/13p]
The future is forever ago and forever ahead. Ain’t that grand? [2/17/13p]
Knowing you will pass and how you wish to be remembered is a strength I wish for everyone. [2/24/13p]
Screw the daily follies, proclaim uniqueness. [2/24/13p]
We act as we do out of a deep need to be conditioned, and a strong desire to be as everyone expects. [2/25/13p]
We choose to be who we are, whether bottled, poured, or as stream. We are all fluid. We must know we are who choose our shape. We choose. [2/25/13p]
Damage done by a bad additude often is overlooked until it’s too late. -> Being a dick doesn’t always mean you’re fucked right away; sometimes, you’re bent over well after, as soon as you’re snipped a bit. [2/28/13p]
[3/30/13p] Look behind only to see where you’ve left to go, and who you should thank for getting there.
We never seem as wasteful as when observed during our routines. [4/3/13p]
[4/15/13p] When your employment depends on one person, you’ve need fear more than Death. (Re: Jay Leno)
[4/16/13p] Laugh through misfortune. Work hard, strive to release yourself from the captivity of misfortune, but laugh often and with reason. How you succeed during failures is indicative of how you refuse to fail during successes.
[4/17/13a] Life tip (repost): Unclogging a drain can be as easy as plunging with the bottom of a cup. This method has the added benefit of not causing skin & eye irritation, as do bleach/sodium concentrates.
[4/17/13p] No reason exists to not change and adapt. Be willing to change, though, and not just wanting of change. The best change is subtle until the original seems farcical in comparison. Be radical only when the outcome harms no one and helps everyone, even those who wish to harm.
Normal is brilliant. Do we appreciate all we’ve done to be normal? I never want to be one who loses the trials for the triumph. The triumph is only so with knowledge of the fore. [5/9/2013p]
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Often
Often,
When you’ve taken time to look,
Nature will dance for you
And only you,
As would a child,
Or a parent,
When you’ve taken time to look.
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Filing system
My office filing cabinet
Is indicative of a career.The first of three drawers,
Topmost and slim,
Holds bandages; antacids;
Blank papers I know I
May, I’m sure, need later;
A 1/3rd used moleskine
Filled with orphaned pages;
Lens solution; unopened ink;
A box of 200 business cards
Minus 20; and a brushed
Keychain to commemorate
Those first five years. Oh,
And sunscreen used as lotion.The next, deeper, larger,
Is weighted with business plans;
Merit increases; job offers;
A Panthers lamp, which cannot
Stay together; a wooden ship
From somewhere I haven’t been;
An hourglass from my loving wife,
Who wanted to ensure I never lost
QA points for time management;
And weeks-old nutri-grain bars.The third, still deep, still large,
Keeps knickknacks, gained
Over time from bad investments;
A Bobcats playoffs towel;
And gifts from friends I heard,
More than saw, in Wilkesboro.And now, for the fourth time
In four years, I am moving,
Knowing these items, their
Proximity, will be constant.
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Putting off
I’ve been putting off writing anything longer than a sentence or two for these last few months. I keep remembering Lost To The Abyss, and how many revisions there were, and how many times I read every word to fit or replace them until they seemed appropriate and effortless.
I took the effortlessness out of the end product and removed the effort from their production. I’m cheating myself (and you) by not bothering to clean up what needs to be said. I need to do better.
My wife said those words when we were dating: Do better.
They hit me every now and then, as though there’s a constantly running cycle in the back of my mind whose sole purpose is to remind me I can do better. I just fence the process into our relationship silo, rather than allowing it access to my entire life. Funny, our relationship is my entire life. Perhaps I have this backwards.
I want now. Before today, I needed to put word to paper or screen. Now, I want to do better.
I do not write details of my life, mostly because I’m not the only one in it, and partly because I’m a private person who enjoys putting my feelings and thoughts out for the world to see. Remember, access is not admission.
I miss writing for a purpose. Because I miss having a purpose. I am not a gifted writer, just prolific (if I am even prolific). Like Kobe, I keep taking shots because I know rhythm can only hide for so long and last so long; often, we have to trust repetition to not let us down.
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Arranged That Way
We often baulk when someone’s number’s called,
Go missing in our thoughts when the number’s oursWe try forging time like a signature,
Hoping our gifts outweigh reality
As our faults give way to who we are
And living life becomes a tragedy.Time allows us ample means to rewind to see
Who we could have been, but can we still live satisfied
With who we are and the opportunities
We forsake to be justified by selfish rites, not piety?
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Untitled 15
Don’t you know
There’s never been a
Single pharaoh
That’s lasted;
You have to prepare & plan
A lineage;
Don’t be forgotten,
Have your statues
Crumble into sand
While people forget
Why you got them.