musings & scribbles

voluntas

March 22, 2014

voluntas

giving in is more than i
expected of myself, but
there’s a reason for ever-
ything.

i forgot the meaning,
left before seeing
the error made.

as many spaces
between thought
prior and thought
now, and i still
cannot absolve
myself of all
that’s been said;
as many words
written, between
then and now, i
cannot unknow
what i did not
know then.

giving in
is more than i
expected of myself,
but the small hand
moves slow enough
that i could catch up,
stumble ‘on,
keep going,
and all those other
mediocre phrases
coined to
make one ignore defeat.

giving in is more than i
expected of myself, but i
know more now than ever
the lights on corner shine
whether i’m muddied or fine.

giving in is more than i
expected of myself, but i
guess pride is sold high,
while i knew only my
self, and no visitors,
but those from space,
came to visit, and i knew
the tiger stripes on
rain-soaked window would be
the only memory, for i
could control that moment, i
could wipe them away, or
sit and love their
path, the one of
least resistance, where
the reward is pooling,
lasting longer than if
they had stayed to dry
without…

giving in, i guess i
saw myself in ruin,
having given more
than taken, though
not if family counts.

returned to find
the memories of
a mind, failing
to see what waits
behind an image, or
animations, tuned-in
and clear, while
shadow crackles
’round who i was
behind eyes used
sparingly to see
myself, to see
anyone not in
front of me;
i gave in to
forgetting,
falling for
the clarity
of no conscience,
no scenery
not in front of me.

tilted just so

March 22, 2014

tilted just so
the spin keeps
us standing

The City

March 22, 2014

He loved the establishment,
Though only enough to enter
Through a faded wooden door
Along the side of the bulding,
Between the corner and a
Neon sign lit, “FOOD,” where
The word, “Fine,” had been
Turned off.

Having [Once] Read Shakespeare

March 22, 2014

faulty towers store but what is gained,
’til foundations, once unknown, grow to be
razed by way of fields tilled for grains,
fruits, plucked, ‘stead fallen of’ th’ trees.
same is seen when muted children know
only laughter comes when silence falls
on hands so small, and burdened fingers bow
to stage a crash in cause of Juno’s call.
but a brook, babbling by, a constant grants reason
to this life, and moves us, progeny,
near’ to roots, waiting to show [wo]man seasons,
come and go, can still our leaves.
and how words and wisdoms, best absorbed
through means of life, become our souls.

gives and takes stones to as would
any mover of ‘scapes and lands;
and that is these, the sonnets,
plays and particularies of a craft
whose direction knows no compass,
as plates plagued by feet do not,
able more to crush than remain,
though giving be their blessings,
despite mighty winds be follies’ gain,
do words and wisdoms best absorbed through means of life become brains.

Song,

November 20, 2013

Song,
That embrace of a beat/a melody
Much more steadied than our own.
I know how to be good, though
Lessons, when learned, are
But still worthwhile, if for
No other reason than a means
To relive humility.

Cold feet, more foot, knows
There is warmth in being covered, though
Finds an ability to breathe more appealing;
The world knows not me, and I little
Of the world, thee, who witness, staring,
Blank to let me fill your needs with fancy’d
Words, turned phrases, plead[ing]s to be
My witness. And, I begin with you, as you me,
In hopes far more exists in land of poetry
Than word, but written, or history; we wish
For future, more, who we are, to receive clarity.

Forced writing fills a page,

November 20, 2013

Forced writing fills a page,
While fingers find their way
To be relevant again, like
They were before the ticks
Of life took their toll,
And left the mind fold’.

11-11 09.43.5pm

November 20, 2013

Sold my faith for a minute more
In the warmth of a blanket, to
Escape the cold outside. Can’t say
I regret the life I’ve lived, but I
Will always remember rolling over,
Telling Him I need more time to
Adjust to the temperature, and
Still going to where I would have been.

Bought my faith for a summer spent
Being His, and observing Life,
The Way, and all there is. Won’t say
I regret what I’ve seen, but I
Will always remember running through,
Showing Him I needed more time to
Adjust to the temperature, and
Still go where I would have been.

11-11 09.31.5pm

November 20, 2013

Sometimes, all you need
Is a strum and a run-on
Sentence, or thirty-some.

The greatest love you can have
Is the love of yourself, for
No one else can love who
Doesn’t love themself, but
The second-greatest love
You can have is the love for
Someone who doesn’t see
The love they deserve, only
The love they lack inside, behind
Those eyes hiding love, buried
Under shadow, the absence
Of a bit-flick-flame, that one
Feeling of heat, best described
In anger and in love, though
One spreads and the other
Flees when it’s all over, so
Always pick the one that stays,
The one someone else gives and
Hopes so much the kindling sparks
To pull that love out of shadow,
Out of the corners and into
The warmth of embrace, even if in
Mind.

The Cat I Broke And Who Fixed Me

November 20, 2013

She watches beside me,
Anticipating movements
Not yet made, but made
Before. Her head follows
Her eyes, widened by my
Returned stares; she
Pops as the jack, paws
In walk & rump raised,
Tiring of the silence and
Knowing I will welcome her.

EMET and Chrome

November 17, 2013

I own a copy of Malwarebytes Anti-Malware Pro, but found, in this post on Slickdeals.net, mention of software I had not heard of: Enhanced Mitigation Experience Toolkit (EMET) by Microsoft.

EMET is intriguing, because it provides an additional amount of security, including EAF, ASLR, and DEP, for apps that may not have been originally configured to take advantage of those technologies. A good write-up on setting the software up is available from TrustedSec.

Now, I am a complete novice when it comes to these security technologies, but I decided to use EMET and attempt to enable all it has to offer, because being ignorant about security technologies and using their benefits is better than just being ignorant. That said, I’ll continue to the steps I took to use Chrome alongside EMET.

Once EMET is installed and configured, it’s immediately evident that Chrome needs some additional attention (what with its constant crashing and pesky un-usable-ness).

To address that un-usable-ness, and because I have OCD, I decided to find which (if any) exceptions Chrome needs to operate without crashing. Luckily for me, it only took, like, 15 crashes to find the right exceptions. Luckily for you, here are the steps to add the Chrome executable and the right exceptions:

Click, ‘Apps,’ from the toolbar
Click, ‘Add Application,’ from the toolbar
Browse to your Chrome executable (mine is in C:\Program Files (x86)\Google\Chrome\Application)
Enable the appropriate options for chrome.exe
- DEP, Data Execution Prevention
- SEHOP, Structured Exception Handler Overwrite Protection
- NullPage, Null Page pre-allocation
- HeapSpray, Common heap spray address pre-allocation
- EAF, Export Address Table Access Filtering
- BottomUpASLR, Bottom-Up virtual memory randomization
Disable the appropriate options for chrome.exe
- MandatoryASLR, Enforces Address Space Layout Randomization on loaded binaries
- LoadLib, Check and prevent LoadLibrary calls against UNC paths
- MemProt, Special check on memory protection APIs
- Caller, ROP mitigation that checks if critical function was called and not returned into
- SimExecFlow, Simulate the execution flow after the return address to detect subsequent ROP gadgets
- StackPivot, Check if stack pointer was pivotted
Ignore the greyed chrome.exe, if visible
Click, ‘OK,’ at the bottom of the screen
Close (if open) and re-open Chrome
Enjoy!