musings & scribbles

“whatever you
sent me failed to send”
—I sent you nothing,
so it reached you
accordingly.

the easiest part of my day
is waiting for the light to change
at an intersection

isn’t it absurd
that we feel closer to the world
the further away we get from it?

I don’t know what i’m crying for.
what do I want changed?
what do I want new?
I want to remember who we were
when ends never met and
I hurt you with my anger.
I want to hold you now
and stop myself then.
you deserve what we have,
and i’m not sure I thought we’d
ever get here.
you loved me behind the counter
of a Walmart, of a Blockbuster;
you drove me and picked me up
an hour each way.
you are my reason and my rock
and I don’t give a shit about headshots
if you ain’t in em with me, cuz
you’re the reason people want em.

what if I don’t know what
I don’t know and
someone else does, so
they know more than
I do?

time tells me it’s moving,
while i’m stuck here bleeding out.
trying to find that last second
then one more
and maybe another or…
a few thousand, i’m not sure,
but i’ll start counting now.

we went from a peephole,
to a sidelight,
to prismed glass.

“thank you,
God,”
we said, standing
in the foyer
of our home.

we lay flat
so the words can find their way
through our skeletons,
telling us
how much we mattered when
we were full of flesh and
without sunken eyes,
without empty chests,
waiting for breathing to
build us up and keep us
confident, not
leaking oxygen
trying to
capture thoughts
we don’t even know the
origin of—no, we
lay flat
so the words can
find their way
through our
skeletons,
telling us
how much
we mattered when
we were
full of flesh,
when life felt
inevitable,
not something
we grew tired of chasing.