Posts published in April 2011

I just never know
Which way I am
To go when they
Turn me down.

So, I just hold on
Tight to the tem-
‘ples of a furrowed
Brow and pray to
He who gave me will
That ev’ry day is one
We will not regret.

We cannot forget
The lives here be-
‘fore we e’er step-
‘ped on this hos-
‘pitable land/A
Walk we of(f)’n
Forget was forged
Prior t’our stum-
‘bled pacings ’bout.

While doing what
Has been done, how
Often we look for-
‘ward to where we-
‘ve been, holding
On to what we see
Rather than the
Mountains we’ve
Yet climbed and
All those valleys
Within the crease.

When I was a young man,
I thought of myself and
Myself alone, without
You or He or others I
Now cherish.

So far from then,
I now stand to be
A husband, father,
Father’s son
Who knows
Now what
Each is
And has
Been
Meant
To be.

I try to smile to everyone I walk by. Not to hide my bad days or gloat on my good days, but to hopefully brighten theirs. There is no greater sadness (save loss) than being completely devoid of a positive presence when you’re blinded by a bad day (or year, or month, or week, or lifetime). A simple gesture, smiling more and often, will remove so many piled on layers of mundanity.

Slide. Rise. Level out, realize. Take a breath, take a step, subside. Push on, stand by. Make a choice: be shy or stay fly.

Oh, you know where I’m looking
When I smile and I walk right
Within a whisper of your eyes.
Lifting head up, you stare as if I
Were seeing a secret they
Take for granted; you ask me,
With a tilted smile, why not I.

Oh, God, can you
Forgive me for the totality
Of the things I have done?
Your easy breeze will be
All I need.

How many days do I sit to stare
Out a window that isn’t there?

Held in that thought so long
I forgot I existed in eyes behind;

A man without his mind
Is a horse without a mane: We’re
Just silly to look at, standing where
Our bodies break through the something
That surrounds us, hoping the world
Will wait for us to be a little more
Of who we thought we’d be.

The wheel forms a groove
In the back of Mother Earth.
I pull the world behind me,
Hoping I can push my burden
Even farther than I have before.
But, the tangles slip from the barrow
And I’m caught again, shoveling my
Responsibilities away while I
Run, tumbling, after.

A thousand days ago, you
Accepted my asking you
For marriage, and you
Smiled before a cry you
Shared with family you
Had to speak to if you
Were to tell anyone you
Knew. And, I let you
Spend the evening you
Saw a thousand times before
Waiting for your dreams to
Catch up with the reality you
So thoroughly enjoyed that night
And, I hope, all the days after you
Accepted me: a thousand days ago.

(written February, 2011)