some commercials

so, there’s this song. not any ordinary song, but average, nonetheless. i don’t know. i hear it every day at work, and i never remember the words, nor do i listen to them. they’re just background noise to thoughts i can’t really get over. every time they start up, i think, “that damn song; fuck; fuck; fuck. why that song? i can’t stand it.” and then, later, another one plays, and i bob the head a bit, ‘cuz the beat is so rhythmic, so carefree. as always, though, this third song plays, and i’m stuck thinking again. i hate that. that’s, i think, what hurts the most; knowing i always think and knowing it never does any good, because i keep it inside, and i don’t really let anything out, until i’m tired or angry, and then i open up and lash out or close up and keep away from all i could never take.

blahdeblahblah. the commercials at work are overbearing. from the grease medley that all the girls come in and dance to, to the shins song, “new slang,” from garden state, and fiona apple’s from the last kiss. the only outlet i have is one playing of blur’s, “song 2.” that’s all i have, all day. grease, shins, fiona apple, and a single track i actually listen to. oh, and rv’s random preview, which i always laugh along to, and the wild’s. so, i guess it’s not that bad, but i don’t want to tune out those three, the grease/shins/fiona songs, because i know they’re playing for a reason, and if that reason is obvious or hangs around, then i’ll eventually know why it is.