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my shoes stink

i cleaned my room, sat for a bit and stared at all i had left to do.
can’t say much, but when i speak i say it all.
felt alone again today, just because you were gone.
forever, i try to be a better person, but it’s hard to be better when you only see your weaknesses.
i’m a witness to the rebirth of a nation of those, like me, who know nothing more than debt and its collection.
dreams are for believers in tonight, but i only see tomorrow, so i wake up blank and hope to start anew.
rarely, i wake up hopeful for what i’ve seen– i just hope where i think i’m going is where i will have been.
8 lines of myself, written as though i knew everything i said– but, that’s hard when you forget yourself each night, only letting that little nugget in your head remind you of the feelings you should have but don’t understand why.
anger. anger is the pit you can throw everything into, but can’t crawl out of without trying to find yourself someone to latch onto and see the grassline as the sky– a perfect symbol of freedom for someone stuck in perpetual falling, or engulfment.
my shoes stink.

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musings & scribbles